Mastering the S-Curve of High-Powered Careers May's Blog
Bloom Where You’re Planted
A highly successful CEO recently shared with me his mother’s advice that has stood him in good stead from humble beginnings all the way to the executive suite: “bloom where you’re planted”.
This phrase has stuck in my mind because it raised a dichotomy that I needed to resolve, one that struck a bit close to home.
On the one hand, to bloom where you’re planted is an empowering message. It invites us to be committed, resourceful, and creative in reframing whatever situation we find ourselves in such that we can succeed and excel. An analog to psychologist Viktor Frankl’s observations as a concentration camp survivor that we always have a choice and can find meaning no matter what the circumstance. Choose to bloom. Right where you are planted.
On the other hand, I fretted that “bloom where you’re planted” implied a “taker” mentality; that we must accept our lot in life, and go where we are told to go. As a child of immigrants who came to America to pursue a better future, it worried me to allow others to plant me somewhere rather than finding the best place to plant myself.
The aspect that hit closest to home is someone once told me that I had had an “amiable career”, amiably accepting the roles I was given and going along with what the corporation wanted me to do. So, had I been a “taker” for two decades and would it have gone better if I had been more of a “maker”, proactively going after what I wanted (if only I had known what that was, but that’s another story)?
Perhaps the way to reconcile these two seemingly opposite interpretations is this:
- We owe it to ourselves to seek the best soil for our unique set of abilities and interests, which means experimenting with different work settings and not just being a taker of whatever comes along.
- And the best way to approach each experiment is with a “bloom where you’re planted” attitude — a constructive and go-for-it mindset. It’s the only way to get a true view. Then, see if you like the outcome. Stay if you do, and find new soil if you don’t.
As for my amiable career, even that has turned out better than expected, and maybe amiable – like the interpretation of “bloom where you’re planted” – is in the eye of the beholder.
Leaders: False and True
A basketball coach recently described one of the girls on her team as a “False Leader”. As it was a new term to me, I asked the coach what she meant.
She described how Didi (not her real name) initially came across to the coaches as the natural leader within the team with her charismatic personality, outgoing demeanor, and confidence to speak up both on and off the court. No surprise, as these characteristics are consistent with commonly held views of strong leaders.
However, over the next weeks and months, Didi showed herself to be more a “ring leader” than a team leader. Rather than helping to coalesce the team toward a common goal as they had hoped, Didi brought others away from the team vision. Worse yet, she was divisive as her powerful personality attracted a loyal following among some team members while leaving others at the periphery.
As it turned out, Didi was only about Didi. When her interests aligned with those of the team it all worked, but often, her self-oriented goals were bad for the team.
The coach went on to mention that she hoped that one or two others would emerge as the True Leaders of the team. However, Didi’s dominance presented a challenge: while these others genuinely embodied the values that would make the team successful, they were younger, quieter role models and found it hard to shift the dynamic away from Did.
Of course, the same situations occur in the business world. And to paraphrase the super-hero comic books, if only all leaders would “use their powers for good, not evil”.
In the meantime, here are some thoughts on what we can do:
- Become highly attuned to intent – both in ourselves and in others: intent is what fundamentally differentiates False Leaders from True Leaders.
- Help False Leaders to change if they can, and if they cannot, then stop backing them. The damage that False Leaders can do to the rest of the organization can be significant, and it is an unsustainable path (for both backer and backee).
- Help True Leaders to be seen – often, people with genuine positive intent are not the most “flashy”, but may have the most staying power. Remember that while peacocks (like False Leaders) put on a beautiful display, they tend not to fly for very long.
Entertainers in Society
My daughter’s class is learning about medieval history, and as we chatted about what life was like in those times, it struck me that the value society places on entertainers has been turned on its head.
Back then, they had gladiators who were pretty much slaves, and if they performed well, they got to live. They also had minstrels and jesters, the best of which got to live in the castle as part of the King’s entourage. None of these were aspirational roles, and I am guessing that parents back in that day would be discouraging their children from such careers.
Fast forward to today, and some of our highest paid citizens are entertainers. In place of gladiators, minstrels and jesters, we have prize fighters, rock stars and comedians. They have our attention and often even our respect, and many of us aspire to be like them.
As my daughter remarked, “They entertained the rich back then, now they are the rich.”
What, if anything, does this shift say about our society? Are we more civilized – no one dies to entertain us? Does it simply reflect the economic reality that we have more leisure now, and the technology for performers to reach bigger and more targeted audiences?
And is there something inherently unsustainable about a society that ascribes less monetary value to teachers and scientists versus entertainers?
Then again, maybe it’s not about the money…
Playing to Your Strengths at Work
Do you get to play to your best strengths at work? For two-thirds of us, the answer is “no” (see the last few paragraphs of the Gallup webpage).
But imagine what innovation and energy we could unleash if most of us could answer “yes”. Now that’s exciting. So, what can we do to move toward using our best strengths at work?
As an employee, challenge yourself to reframe: First, do you know what your strengths are? If not, there are several online resources that can help (VIA is free; Realise 2 charges a modest UK fee; Strengthsfinder is available with the purchase of the book), plus getting feedback from others who have an informed view. Triangulate based on a variety of sources and, most importantly, your own view.
Second, figure out how you could reframe your own thinking and/or your role to use these best strengths in your work. It may be as simple as shifting the mindset from which you approach your work, or emphasizing one aspect over another. For example, if you are a strategic thinker could you help the team make better decisions by asking “what if” questions and finding ways to expand the group’s thinking beyond “the way things have always been done”? Perhaps there are strategic projects that you could take on within your current role? On the other hand, it may require an actual shift in your responsibilities, in which case it’s important to incorporate that in your dialogue with your managers.
Third, take charge. You know your strengths best, so take responsibility for making them known to your organization and help them find ways to make use of these strengths for mutual benefit.
As an employer, challenge yourself to know your team: What are your team members truly capable of? Are they in the 67% of underutilized people in the Gallup poll? And once you know, what will you do?
Focus on how best to use these strengths in the context of the mission at hand – maybe a different approach to the existing work, or a potentially innovative project that otherwise wouldn’t be attempted? Simply having the discussion about someone’s strengths and how to apply them moves the dialogue in a positive direction.
In a resource-constrained environment, we all win if we can harness the best in every person. And remember, this is a shared responsibility, so it is fair game to ask your employee to come up with ideas for leveraging their strengths as well.
Finally, if you are between roles, then take the opportunity to design or pursue the work that you uniquely are meant to do: work that demands bringing your best strengths to work every day.
Leadership Lessons From Steve Jobs
Beyond the amazing innovations he has brought to our world, there are three lessons I have learned by observing Steve Jobs, the leader, from afar. And the good news is that these don’t require being an inventive genius to be useful.
- Career Resilience: Steve Jobs was publicly and unceremoniously fired, yet came back to rise again. As leaders, we all have set backs, and it is valuable to have examples of successful people who have failed publicly and then bounced back to achieve even greater success. Sometimes setbacks are a sign that you aren’t the right person for that time or situation, or maybe you are and they have gotten it wrong, or maybe you were unintentionally doing more harm than good. Whatever the reason, the key is what you do in the interim: learn, regroup and keep moving forward.
- Sustainable Leadership: The sign of a great organization is whether it can transcend the span of any one particular leader, whether we are talking about dynasties in ancient China, armies in the Middle Ages, or today’s corporate world. At this early stage, the signs are that Steve Jobs and his board have created a succession plan that can carry on the mission far into the future. Not only is there top leadership bench strength, more importantly it seems they have managed to inculcate the entire company with the ethos, mindset and “DNA” that makes Apple Apple. Leadership resides in every employee, not just at the top.
- Personal Courage: Whether or not we possess the insight and genius of Steve Jobs, we can adopt his courage. He had the courage of his convictions, took calculated risks and was willing to stand for what he believed, even in the face of criticism and, in the early years, even ridicule. When everyone else was rushing to the equivalent of the “sale aisle at Walmart”, he was focused on his own true north.
So, thank you Mr. Jobs for your lessons in leadership – and for rocking our world. My fellow Meyler Campbell coach, Anne Waldron, summed up the news of his passing best: “another star that’s gone back to the universe.”
Being Brave: Lessons from Basketball
I have been at the European National Championship Basketball tournament this week, rooting for the Great Britain Under 20s Women’s team which last year, for the first time in history, was promoted from the B League to the A League.
By beating last year’s bronze medal team in the first round, they have already “won” as a team, exceeding all expectations by eliminating any risk of relegation back to the B League. Better yet, they then went on to make it into the quarter final. What a great result.
But beyond the headline there are many useful lessons. The first is about being brave.
As it turns out, the coach has been urging the girls to be brave in shooting. In basketball, this means wanting the responsibility for taking the shot, refusing to hesitate in the face of opportunity, and adopting a constructive mindset even when you miss.
Despite this message, we watched our team struggle to be brave in shooting at many points during the tournament. After a string of missed shots, self-doubt tended to creep in, we took fewer shots, which then put more pressure on the ones we did take.
Was it selfless thinking? (“I shouldn’t shoot even though I am a shooter because my shot is off today, give someone else a try.”) Was it selfish thinking? (“I don’t want to be the one missing another shot.”) In either case, it would be thinking too much and about the wrong things.
Mindset is particularly important because shooting, like so much of life, is a funny thing – it is by definition proactive, done with intent, and everyone sees whether you have succeeded or failed. You are exposed. If you approach it tentatively, you cannot succeed. It means putting yourself out there by making a decision to act, the outcome of which affects the whole team.
Clearly, it is one thing to encourage people to be brave. It is entirely another thing to be consistently brave oneself, especially under pressure.
So what we can do to be brave in life? One idea is to develop a rule of thumb for your particular issue. If you tend to hesitate before shooting, then make a deal with yourself that for the next five situations, you will just do it and think later.
For me, it was about going right up to senior people – both internally and at client organizations – and introducing myself when I saw them rather than follow my first instinct of running the other way. It almost always turned out well, and was an act of commission that I otherwise would not have made. After a while, I developed a new habit and learned to trust myself.
For most of us, bravery is about opting for more acts of commission rather than omission – win or lose. And to keep doing it by refusing to allow a negative outcome to adversely affect your mindset going forward.
What will you do to be more brave?
Being Outrageous (#2): Teens Speak Out
My daughter and her 8th grade classmates had the courage to be outrageous last week by respectfully and successfully challenging their administrators on a point of principle.
As is the tradition, teachers and students were asked to vote on which three classmates should speak at graduation. The administrators confirmed that they would not override the outcome of the vote.
When the three speakers were announced, they were the usual high-achievers liked and respected by all. Immediately, there was a buzz across the grapevine as students compared notes and discovered that one classmate had gotten more student votes than any other, yet had not been named as a speaker. Let’s call him John.
As it turns out, John is regularly in trouble for disrupting class: a basically good kid, but lacking in the “social filter” category. Clearly, administrators did what they promised not to do: they overrode the will of the students.
Several classmates started a petition (also supported by those selected to speak). The administrators called a meeting to explain: they wanted to protect John from being put in a position where he might embarrass himself and be laughed at by his peers. They freely admitted that an overwhelming majority of students voted for him, but feared it was “for the wrong reasons”.
The students made eloquent arguments about due process, diversity of representation, hearing a variety of viewpoints, and that it could be confidence building for John to make a success of this moment to shine. In the end, the administrators did the only sensible thing: they added John as a fourth graduation speaker.
Not only did John speak, his message was uplifting and appropriate. He rose to the occasion and shone. He told me how good it made him feel to know his classmates had spoken up for him.
How marvelous that these 14 year olds had the courage to be outrageous. I am proud of you all for your leadership.
Being Outrageous
I have spent most of my life behaving myself. Doing the conventional and achieving success in a traditional way. Not that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, it has all turned out just fine.
However, the question remains whether I would have achieved even more and/or had more fun if I had allowed myself to be more outrageous. Not in the absolute sense but relative to my own self.
What if I had taken more risk? Talked myself out of fewer things (in the context of pursuing dreams)? More acts of commission rather than omission? What if I had done more experimenting, and spent less time being afraid to be wrong or to fail?
What if I had embraced “failing forward” sooner? I have to thank former colleague and strategic consultant Eric Best for introducing me to the term. “Fail forward” perfectly captures the sentiment that it is important to “go for it”; that failure is necessary for success and never failing means we aren’t trying hard enough. We all fail at some time or another, and the important thing is to always fail in a forward direction – by pursuing a goal rather than talking oneself out of trying. At the behest of some others, I have tempered this to refer to it as “experiment forward”, but either way, the idea is the same.
In this next phase of my career, I am being fearless. I am “experimenting forward” and yes, even “failing forward”. Not enough quite yet, as decades of habit require time to change, but I am “coming along nicely” as my husband tells me.
And so, I am starting a new part of my blog to celebrate those who have done something outrageous within their own context and stayed true to who they are. Outrageous, after all, is in the eye of the beholder, and what seems outrageous in the conventional context may turn out to be just what the world needs us to be. At least we will be true to ourselves.
Actually, the genesis of this “outrageous” theme comes from a conversation I had a few months ago with Owen Marcus, a friend and coach who helps men be the best they can be (by the way, it works for women too!). After hearing about my efforts to become fearless, he suggested that I do something I would consider outrageous every day and write about that.
As I work up to that grander ambition, this blog theme of celebrating others who have done “outrageous” is about as close as I can get to it right now. Owen, does this “baby step” qualify as my outrageous act for today?
It’s About The Team
At today’s Varsity Sports Award ceremony at my daughters’ high school, I was heartened to see the next generation of leaders and reassured that, at least in a small corner of England, affirmative life lessons are being taught and learned.
This is a sports program that is about more than simply winning. It is a program that exudes class and sportsmanship in the very best sense.
Team captain after team captain got up and spoke of leadership, gratitude, and the importance of team. To quote one young man, “What matters most is the chemistry we built as a team and not the medals and awards that we may have won. Years from now, when these are packed in boxes or in places we can’t remember, we will still have our friendships, the camaraderie and our memories of working and playing together.”
Then there were the two teammates who were named to the “All Tournament Team” in their sport and chose to dedicate their award badges to their teammates. They placed their badges onto a plaque on which the name of every teammate was inscribed, which will go in the school’s trophy case. In their minds, it was the whole team that deserved the honor, not just two individual performers.
Finally, there was the team that never gives an MVP award because the team ethos is so strong that making such a distinction seems artificial. Some may call it an excuse to avoid singling anyone out, but when I saw them standing as brothers on the stage, it was clear that this is no gimmick, but rather the way that this group of players think.
In a world of individual achievement and competition, it is refreshing and reassuring to see that teamwork, fair play and positive role models can be plentiful. Well done to all.
Why Like-Mindedness is Limiting for Leaders
We inherently like spending time with people who think like us, and maybe even act and look like us. It’s easy, comfortable and fun to be with people who understand where we are coming from and share our interests. As well, it builds our confidence to have others we respect tell us they think we are right.
The problem is that hanging around only with “like-minded”x people makes us vulnerable: vulnerable to “group think” and to missing the contra-indications and clues that can strengthen us and perhaps even reshape our thinking. Though it is tempting to take the easy way, it won’t make you the best leader you can be.
As leaders, there is a real and present danger to surrounding ourselves with “yes men”. Only by hearing the naysayers and the other side of the argument can we be sure of what “doing the right thing” means. At a minimum, it makes our thinking and ideas more resilient.
Pressure-test your ideas, understand how to address the counter case, and stay open to hearing other points of view. The most effective leaders invite people to express their views, including those contrary to their own. This is how we learn, and it is key to leadership success
So, the next time you hear or see the term “like-minded”, take a moment to think – preferably, to think differently.
